Those Tory/Lib Dem Plans According To Crying Lefties

After hearing much FUD, bitching, moaning and tears from people - many who have never even lived through a Tory government - I have ascertained the following policies:

1) Child benefit to be scrapped, it's not needed as iDave plans to feast on all newborns
2) America is buying the NHS from us, we're getting a Death Star to target poor people with in return
3) Anyone earning under 20k a year will taxed at 100%, anyone earning over a million won't need to pay tax
4) Old people. You're all going on holiday. To Dignitas.
5) The environment. To be set on fire to fuel the Poverty Death Star.
6) Parliamentary terms to be set at 1000 years.
7) Being poor to be punishable by death.

I don't like the Tories, but it seems I'm doomed to defend them at times until some of the fucking idiots out there realize the coalition isn't between Dr Doom and Hitlers brain wired into a cyborged great white shark. That's going to piss me off.