Ban Claims for Lib Dem 'Success'

It's time to ban claims that Lib Dems could do well in elections, or even become the UK's second political party.

Informing members that they're relevant, going to be successful or more popular than 'the fuckwit ensconced in Number 10' are leading to "completely unattainable aims."

Airbrushing the truth that Vince Cable is the only recognizable Lib Dem, or claims of competence from the parliamentary party, it has been claimed, can lead to Lib Dems associating self-esteem to the success of the party, leading to waves of depression and buggering off to more successful parties. Banning this will allow many Lib Dems become more comfortable with the shape of their party.

It's been claimed that young Lib Dems in particular were under increasing pressure due to "completely unattainable policies or electoral aims that no Lib Dem can live up to in real life".

Bit like models and adverts then.